quinta-feira, 3 de julho de 2008

Past

Como toda a gente, tive momentos no passado menos bons (para não dizer pior).
Momentos em que era como se me limitasse a queimar fósforo, atrás de fósforo nessa grande caixa de fósforos que é a vida... (sim, essa é uma das razões porque o meu nickname é matchbox 31).
Quando tive essas fases, esses momentos negros, pensava montes de coisas, umas vezes escrevia-as, outras vezes não... mas hoje, quando ia de carro para Évora, ouvi uma canção e ao escutar mais atentamente, vi que a letra me teria acentado como uma luva há cerca de 6 anos atrás...



Blue October - "Hate Me"

(If you're sleeping are you dreaming
If your dreaming are you dreaming of me?
I can't believe you actually picked me.)
(”Hi Justin, this is your mother, and it's 2:33 on Monday afternoon.
I was just calling to see how you were doing.
You sounded really uptight last night.
It made me a little nervous, and a l... and... well... it made me nervous, it sounded like you were nervous, too.
I just wanted to make sure you were really OK,
And wanted to see if you were checking in on your medication.
You know I love you, and...Take care honey
I know you're under a lot of pressure.
See ya. Bye bye”)
I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling “Make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
For you
For you
For you

[Children voices:]
If you're sleeping, are you dreaming,
if you're dreaming are you dreaming of me.
I can't believe you actually picked me

[Girl:]
Hey Justin! [x12]

4 comentários:

100 remos disse...

Life is full of "tenses". Os fósforos que vamos queimando outrora já foram lume sem sítio onde arder. Existem chamas que jamais se apagam, há que esperar que o vente acalme e encontrar o tempo certo.

Matchbox31 disse...

Tens toda a razão.
Está muito bem escrito este teu comentário, percebeste bem a mensagem do post.

su disse...

Ainda bem que a caixa pode ser inesgotável...há mais fósforos para queimar vida fora...e que aqueles que já queimaste e apagaste sejam apenas substituídos por fénixes que nasçam das cinzas...sempre para algo muito melhor.

Matchbox31 disse...

Exacto, su. É mesmo esse pensamento que devemos ter sempre connosco!